At Mollusk, we recognize that there's an expectation that we aim for more than simply a profit - we know others expect us to be a responsible member of the business community. We take very seriously the job of managing their disappointment.
To us, marketing is more than a job. It's decreasing the happiness of an entire community. With every ad, national disatisfaction increases. Now, this is true of all advertisements - every advertisers knows unhappiness is a spur to action - but Mollusk takes this approach a step further, building annoyance into every minor detail of our advertisements - the grating quality of the voice talent, the poor color selection for the art, etc.
Indeed, our modern market economy is based on frentic, nervous, insecure, and unhappy activity. It's the anxiousness of every citizen that motivates them into economic action. And no member of our business community contributes quite as much to that unhappiness as Mollusk.
As proud and patriotic Americans, Mollusk fulfills a vital Darwinian role in eliminating incompetence in corporate governance. Almost every executive whose past judgment lead to the decision to retain Mollusk Marketing as business partner, today finds themselves in a position of diminshed responsibility. Indeed, in many cases, they've been relieved of responsibility for their own day to day lives, and placed in an appropriate institution under strict state supervision. In this way, Mollusk helps to winnow out those unfit for business leadership.